Learning How to Wait Again
Growing up I was a pretty quiet kid. I was the only child for 6 years, so entertaining myself was easy. I was content with playing alone and making up stories about dinosaurs that ate pizza. Unfortunately sometimes my stories would cloud my reality and I'd end up lying about things without even realizing it. Sorry mom and dad.
I guess you could say I was my namesake. Growing up as an introvert made it easy to be patient. I wasn't clawing for attention or trying to rush ahead of people in line at Maggie Moo's. Oh Maggie how I miss you.
I read a lot. A LOT. I savored every page and never skipped ahead to the good parts.
Mario Kart and 1080 Snowboarding were life. Every level. Every morsel. Every neon orange cheeto covered finger on that Nintendo 64 controller. FAST FORWARD 10 YEARS...
I yell in traffic and absolutely hate long lines. Sometimes I can't sit still long enough to get through a 50 minute episode of a really good TV show. I ignore phone calls on occasion because I'm not patient enough to listen to the other person (just being transparent here). And now I'm currently having trouble waiting for this microwave to warm up my coffee.
Is it me or is it just our culture? I feel that 10 years ago I wasn't constantly in a hurry. Sure I enjoyed hustling and getting things done, but I made an effort to enjoy each moment as it came to me. I wasn't constantly worried about the next thing (unless it was 3 days before Christmas). And I didn't mind killing time for a few hours if I needed to.
And now maybe because I'm constantly flooded with news of what other people are up to I feel this need for everything good in my life to happen right NOW.
Stupid I know right.
But think about it. Think about how much we are a culture of now, instant, and skip this ad in 5-4-3-2–
I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions (because I can never keep those pesky little commitments). But I do think there is something to be said about fresh starts. I've always romanticized the idea of packing up everything into one suitcase and moving abroad (hopefully doing that one day). Or cutting all of my hair off and dying it blue. Or changing my name to Z and starting an underground revolution full of rioting hackers clad in all black.
You get my point.
So what's this year's fresh start?
I think I need to learn how to wait. I think I need to stop comparing my journey to everyone else's and be content with where my journey is at the moment. I need to be okay with my car sitting idle on the side of the road with a flat while the other cars zip past me. My car is just fine and I've got my spare, I just need to wait for the right tools to fix it. I need to realize that there are things that take TIME to develop into even better things and that hey, that's OK.
Time. Like actual seconds, and minutes and hours and days and weeks. Real time.
I need to learn how to tackle each project and goal with a certain air of diligence that only patience can provide, and be OK with that.
I need to be my own Mr. Miyagi and wax on (I'm so corny it hurts), while learning from my mistakes and allow myself to fix them. I'm sure it's going to be REALLY hard. But I'm working on it.
I should probably stop yelling in traffic too, but that can wait.